Wish Chick

Recently I wrote about enjoying a cup of coffee as I contemplated my future plans…this morning I’m reflecting and realized that coffee is at the centre of my morning routine more than any other time of the day…is it the act of making it, the smell, the warmth of the cup in my hands, the fact that it reminds me so much of my parents and my childhood?

It was and still is the invitation that I hear extended by my mother to her friends… “why don’t you come on over for a cup of coffee?” Why is it that still seem so welcoming to me and now seems kind of quaint? It’s not the… “let’s meet at Starbucks” of today but rather the “come on into my kitchen and share a little piece of my private world” invitation that seems so appealing to me…

Now I’m not saying that as I prepare that first pot of the day (while still in my pajamas simultaneously making children’s lunches, determining that all their permission slips are signed and that they’ve actually taken two minutes to eat some breakfast before heading out), that my thoughts have gone to “who am I going to invite for coffee today?”…no in fact those days have gone along with those two small toddlers running around my feet.

My morning coffee of today charges me up to start work on whatever tasks or appointments take priority that morning…it’s a part of the routine that is somehow so necessary and important enough that even on the days that I realize that I may not have enough beans to brew a pot, I make a special stop after dropping the girls off at school to pick up more at the grocery store…and somehow, whether I’m making it while clad in pajamas or just after running back in the door, I can’t seem to make myself prepare less than a full pot…shadows of the past? Mine, my parents?…hard to say…

I have come to the realization though that to me it is about so much more than just the caffeine…what do you think?

I’m sitting here this morning surrounded by a situation that leads me to think, although not for the first time, I have to admit…why is it that we wait to do the things that would allow us to live in a peaceful, beautifully organized harmonious environment until we know that we have company coming? Or even better, why do we not renovate and take care of every little detail of our home until we decide that we’re going to sell it and move? Really, does that make any sense at all? Maybe I’m the only crazed one who races through my house every time I’m going to host a dinner party or have guests come to visit…madly taking care of all of the things that I had been promising myself that I would get done…whether for hours, days or even weeks…or packing for vacation and making sure that my house sparkles so the house sitter has a beautiful place to stay, although I also do that for myself. That first glimpse of home is always so satisfying to my soul…if everything is in it’s place, of course…but going back to my original point. Is it just human nature to put off until tomorrow what we could do today? To turn an unusual event to some addidtional stress that we put upon ourselves. Is it to impress others that we do these things to ourselves? I’m speaking collectively of course, as I’m assuming that I’m not the only one who has been caught up in that web…

I think that we definitely need to make a change. Whether to make the decision to take care of the little things every day or to let them go even when you have someone coming to stay…the choice is really up to you…the freedom is in that choice. It really goes back to living authentically, doesn’t it? If you know that your soul and spirit are enriched by a serene, organized environment then don’t wait to create that for yourself, and converseley…maybe even more freeing…for those of you who are more nurtured or comfortable in some level of chaos…stop hiding that fact in corners and closets. It can’t be a good thing to go through the stress of shoving eveything out of sight every time the doorbell rings. I know this flies in the face of all the books and television programs right now that are touting “de-clutter your life”, but is it possible that the thought of all of us having to de-cluttter our ives is just as insidious as the thought that all of us need to be a universal size 2? Haven’t we as women started pushing back against that unrealistic model being held up on television and in magazines? Only an observation of course…

I just say that we should enjoy things our way every day instead of waiting, because we’re not guaranteed more than that…one day at a time…one moment at a time…would you promise me you’ll enjoy them in whatever way enriches you? That I would raise a glass to…

Have you ever practiced that “bait and switch” with your children? The one where they have something that you really don’t want them to have, so you try to think of something else that would be so enticing to them that they drop that thing and start focusing on the other that you’ve enticed them with?

I’m sitting here feeling a little like that child. I’ve had some incredible things happen in my life recently, both professionally and personally and here I am again…faced with a challenge…that mental process that I feel the need to walk through…don’t get me wrong…I spend a lot of my time living inside my head and in fact I quite enjoy it…I’m not a “walk around the house with headphones on and music blaring all the time” kind of girl…but I digress…back to the point…I’m in need of thinking time and I’m in a place without my bath. What to do? Second best thing…a cup of coffee and a blanket around my shoulders…looking out the window as I contemplate the decision before me…

The question I originally posed was focused on the word “selfish” and it’s definition. I sit here feeling conflicted about that because I have been given that choice…the one that I’ve given my small children and I’m sure you’ve given yours…would you like this or this? Pick one, either is fine with me. If you don’t have children you may even have had the same situation in front of you if you’re trying to make a purchase as it is fairly universally applied in a sales situation as well…it’s always better to ask for a choice than face a no…

My realization in that however is that my first choice…as was my children’s often by the way…is both! I never want to give up on opportunity and have this unwavering belief that I’m capable of anything. Is that selfish? Should we limit ourselves or is that limiting ourselves at all really? That letting go of the thing that we thought we prized above all others…if it’s truly impossible to hold onto both without dropping it all?

Hmmmmm…I really wish I knew…

I wonder if water holds such importance for everyone…and before you think to yourself “is she crazy, of course it does…withhold water and we will die”…let me say that I’m not talking about drinking water…I’ve realized more and more lately that as I enter my creative process that there is no place that I want to retreat to more than my bath…even the shower if I don’t have time for a bath can hold the distinction of being my “thinking place”…it just seems that whether I stand for a few minutes, or sit for a while longer, that the flow truly does take place…isn’t it funny that they call it creative “flow”?…hmmm…interesting…coincidence? I think not…

Maybe I’ve missed some brilliant mind writing about this already, but I have to say I’m feeling quite prophetic and deep at this moment…it’s like I’ve had my own personal epiphany…we all come from that same place…was there ever a time that a more creative process took place than the time that we were actually created…surrounded by the warm waters of our mother’s womb…do you think that’s why the water continues to draw me as I nurture all of the things that I know I’m capable of creating?

It’s just another thing that I let slip away in the frantic stress of doing too much for too many and nothing for myself…up until a year and a half ago, I couldn’t have told you the last time that I “treated” myself to a bath…it just seemed much too decadent for me…too much to do, never enough time, was my constant refrain…for that and many other things…

How gratifying to realize that by slowing down, I was actually able to speed up and recapture some of that time for creativitiy and revitalization of spirit…the wellspring (and again the reference to water) of imagination that I have been able to recapture by taking that time for me…to go back to the core of a place that nurtures me…that always has, and always will…is more important than I could have imagined and I make a pledge to myself that I will not forget again…

I don’t know why that line keeps running through my head so often lately…its’ not like I’ve ever been a proponent of denial, not consciously anyway, but I have come to realize that it is more insidious than we may imagine…or at least than I imagined…those opportunities to be almost blissfully in denial of circumstances or situations probably come upon more of us more often than we could care to admit or acknowledge…

Is that just a sign of age and/or stage? To limit your beliefs or expectations and then deny that it bothers you? I don’t know about you, but I have a lot of little mental boxes in my head that I’ve carefully labelled “deal with later” before stuffing them into the back reaches of my conscious mind…just about out of reach, but not quite…much like the corner of an area rug that pokes up every once in a while to catch your toe or the edge of the table…you know that it’s there, but every one in a while you bump into it while distracted and it leaves a purple bruise that slowly fades to yellow and then away…

There are similarities I think in the denial process…some part of you knows that you’re doing it, but it starts to feel normal and it’s only when you step out of normalcy or routine that all of a sudden it may hit you…that bruise is your realization of it and the fading is the process of working it through…which truly is healing and necessary…

Isn’t it amazing how we work…whether body, soul or psyche the same physics apply…you sometimes need to be affected by something outside of the ordinary…become wounded to become healed…incredible really…and ongoing proof that we are resilient and growing and changing and LIVING every single day…

So today I raise my glass to the consciousness of denial…you can’t eliminate it…it’s a part of all of us, whether large or small, but the process of living and healing is ongoing…every second…in fact I need to raise my glass again to resilience…may we all have just the amount that we need!

I’ve always been a reader….one of my earliest school memories is of walking upstairs in my seemingly vast elementary school in grade 1, heading for the grade 3 classroom to choose a book that was more suitable to my reading level. If you ask my mother, I’m sure she will tell you that I always had my nose buried in a book and my friends who have joined us on our annual camping trip would probably also say that I can be totally and completely anti-social when I escape into a story that captivates me….there is something about the pleasure of using the senses and the imagination that I have always thoroughly enjoyed and diving into a well-written and engaging story has always been incredibly satisfying!

Yet, in the last year or so I have found myself not taking the few minutes that I have ALWAYS taken, usually before bed, to read my latest find….and in fact most recently, I…the one who usually not only reads the book, but provides the reader’s guide at my monthly book club….gasp…didn’t even read the last book! Or I should say, the book before last….because, in my usual round-about fashion, I am reflecting on my day yesterday, which ended in a fashion that it hasn’t in a long while….I opened a new book as I climbed into bed and didn’t turn off my light and close my eyes until I finished it…

It’s not that it was the most captivating story that I’ve ever read, but I do have to say that it was like slipping back into a warm embrace given by someone you feel so strongly about, but that you’ve let slip away without even realizing it…so welcome…so warm…so inviting…so MISSED!

It comes back to the balance, doesn’t it? Always…..the pursuit of the tightrope walk of things that you need to do, things you ought to do, things that you must do, and things that you want to do…arms outstretched as you place one foot in front of the other, not wanting to wobble and focussing intently…but in that singular focus sometimes losing that balance that we all require….

I don’t know what feeds your soul and your spirit, but I do know that I intend to honour those things that feed mine, and strive to continue to find the balance and walk the tightrope without a wobble…as impossible as I know that is…

 I’d like to raise my glass to all of the writers of all of the books that I have read in all my years….and let me tell you, there are plenty!! I appreciate all of the moments of escape that I have enjoyed as a result of your collective imaginations….and look forward to diving into many more.

I’m laughing to myself as I write that title, because I think I’m one of those people who doesn’t value patience all that much….in myself, at least…but I totally value it in others, and of course expect it of my children. The phrase “patience is a virtue” seems to fly in the face of all that I believe myself to be…I’m more of a “grab an idea or concept and run with it” rather than a “patiently ponder and deliberate, then decide” kind of person. Maybe I’m missing the whole point of the phrase and the word, and most importantly the feeling?

 Not sure, but I know there have been MANY times in my life when being patient seemed sorely over-rated….when trying month after month after month to get pregnant and having (well-intentioned) people say things like “just be patient, it will happen”…being single and having it drive you crazy that the guy you like hadn’t called….(wait, that NEVER happened to me…lol)…and most recently, having the opportunity to embark on the adventure of my life….I know that I’m supposed to be patient, but it seems to be a virtue that I just don’t highly prize….in fact I’ve always considered my impatience as something to celebrate…waiting for what I want has never been something that I enjoyed!

However, the wisdom of my friends always seems to be presented at exactly the right moment. Yesterday I received a response from a friend that I had explained my situation to…I think I used the words “this wait is ruining me” in my original message…that’s not too dramatic, is it?

Well, the reply resonated with me so deeply that I feel like I have to share…maybe it came at exactly the right moment, maybe it was exactly what I needed to hear…maybe a little of both. Whatever the reason, it made me pause and absorb and find peace in the wait…so, without further ado, here it is for you…

“It will come when it is supposed to…the waiting is for a reason”

You have NO idea how many situations in my life I feel I could apply that statement to and how much peace it gives me just to repeat it in my head…in fact it has become my new affirmation…for now anyway! 

 So today I would like to raise my glass to the wisdom and timing of friends. You may not even know the huge difference that you make with even  the quickest of replies…but I want you to know, I value YOU!

You know, there really is a special bond between mothers and daughters. Even though, as I pointed out to a friend just this morning; it is usually the Daddies who get the “race to the door squealing hugs” while Mommy gets pushed to the side…but those moments that they need you and seek you out are truly to be treasured….sure they may be quieter, and sneak up on both of you, but if you slow down and recognize them for what they are…whether passing on wisdom, sharing secrets, smiles or wiping tears. There truly is a special bond that we all share as females that is unexplainable and incredibly special.

That is ultimately the reason that I decided that launching this company was so important. The bond between women needs to be celebrated, expanded on,  and increased….our collective energies are a power not to be overlooked or dismissed lightly…we have such wisdom and creativity and of course let’s not overlook our power to communicate a message…whether powerful or just entertaining. If you want to spread the word about something, just tell a woman!!

So, today, I’d like to raise my (apparently ever-present) glass to women everywhere….those I know and those I don’t….mothers (especially mine!), daughters, sisters, friends….and of course I make an extra-special toast to my extra-special darling daughters….I love you both with ALL my heart!

I found myself reflecting over the past few days about how much I enjoyed my first foray into blogging. Expressing myself has always been something I’ve enjoyed, in many ways and on many levels, but the idea that my expression may be or become public domain or fodder is somehow quite interesting to me….I’m still trying to work out exactly why; is it voyeuristic, hedonistic, egotistic?….sorry, can’t think of any more entertaining “istic” words that may apply…I would if I could!

Enjoyed Olympic skating practice followed by lunch with Patty yesterday…we were reflecting over the statement in my last post with that glass of wine that we both so enjoy…and continuing the discussion of the peace that comes from letting go of some of  the high expectations that you hold of yourself….realizing that you only have the moments that you’re in as they happen…nothing is certain other than that, and I don’t know about you, but that brings me serenity.

It was cemented even further when I received a call last night from my best friend from childhood. We had been playing telephone tag for four or five days…both of us obviously caught up in our daily lives, and finally she caught me in a quiet moment and shared that her mom was diagnosed with lung cancer just before Christmas and passed away two weeks ago…..so tragic…so fast….and my heart went out to her, even as it resonated deep inside me that we ALL need to live our best lives….each and every moment, good and bad….FULLY…and present….without regrets…

So again, I raise my glass…today in honour of the memory of Sandra’s mom and also in honour of each of us and our respective celebration of our MOMENTS…they really are all we have.

I keep promising…myself and others…that we will be blogging on our site, but the questions keep arising in my head…what is it that I want to communicate in this medium, and as importantly, what do I have to say that others would actually want to hear? Being the shy, retiring type that I am (don’t know if anyone would catch the slight tinge of sarcasm there) I think…why wouldn’t anyone like to tune in to my ramblings periodically…a little voyeurism is good for the soul and the psyche…isn’t it?

So that brings us to this…my inaugural post as the Founding Fairy Godmother of Wish Chick….my mission? To deliver entertainment to women in as many ways as I can…if enlightenment…even a little…whether my own, or yours…comes with it? All the better!!

I truly do hope that whatever I choose to post will resonate with someone out there other than just myself, although as my wise friend Patty recently told me “you know that when it comes right down to it all we really have is ourself”. When you look at that statement on the surface it sounds lonely, doesn’t it? At least until you reflect upon it at it’s core….that’s when I realized how profound and powerful a statement it truly is….all that we can control is what we individually choose to do and be…in each moment in time…that is the ultimate power really…so, as always…I raise my glass to the wisdom of my friends….may your lessons continue to find me!